Are You A Helicopter Parent?
You’re simply being a good parent, right? You’re being involved and taking an interest in your child’s friends, education, and life, right? How do you know when you’ve crossed the line from taking an interest in to hovering…becoming a helicopter parent?
Being a helicopter (one who hovers) or a lawnmower (one who mows down all obstacles) to being a Blackhawk (crossing ethical lines) parent are new terms but appear to be showing up in the lives of more children in recent years. It’s as if the parents (maybe you?) are living vicariously through the achievements and actions of their child.
While it may be tempting to smooth the path for your child, and while you certainly do need to take an interest in his or her life and remain involved, there are lines that need to be drawn or your child may never learn to stand on his or her own feet. Are you a helicopter or lawnmower parent? Here are some clues:
Are you always looking ahead for potential risks and obstacles and trying to remove them? Do you think that every day and everything your child attempts needs to come easily to them and you’ll do whatever you can to make that happen? Facing adversity builds character. Let your child struggle, and even fail.
Your child has a cell phone and because of that do you demand a phone call every day? Do you call him or her to make certain your child is up for classes? Does he have to check in before undertaking an activity and then report the outcome following it? Let your child learn by making decisions and gaining independence.
Do you jump into your children’s education by calling professors if your child doesn’t score a high grade on a test or paper? Do you blame the professor? Remember, your child’s academic scores should be based on his or her own dedication to studying, not your interference in the grading system.
Take joy in your child’s success and commiserate with them when they fail, but let them earn their kudos and take their lumps on their own. It’s natural to want to see your child succeed but help them do that on their own and the sweet rewards of success will be all the sweeter (and more frequent) for them.
Myra Lee is a middle school teacher. Like other teachers and administrators in her school, she earned an online degree and strongly believes in online education for working professionals.
